Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She announced her abortion via fbk
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
