Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
