absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
