I think scott just propositioned me for sex
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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