No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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