So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
