ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize