pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
