I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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