no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
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if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
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You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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