I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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