I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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