You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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