i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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