Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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