this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
