I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize