I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Dear god my vagina.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
