the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
