I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
