it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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