My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
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what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot