Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...