I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today