How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
