I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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