Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Randomize
