Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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