He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
