i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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