Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
