literally had 100 drinks last night.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize