I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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