Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize