so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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