Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Screwed.edu
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
