Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
