oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
