pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
