I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I think i got beer on your cat.
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