New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
