I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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