I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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