New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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