i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
