This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
