if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
