Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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