Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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