Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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