Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
