Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
