I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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