Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
