She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
