there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize