He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
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I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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