Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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